---

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”   -Albert Einstein

---

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”   -Margery Williams “The Velveteen Rabbit”

---

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars…   -Jack Kerouac

---

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.   -Steven Weinberg

---

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.   -Judith Martin

---

The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we have of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.   -Quentin Crisp

---

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.   -Aristotle

---

Of those who say nothing, few are silent.   -Thomas Neill

---

It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.   -Margaret Bonnano

---

You know when you go into a bar and you want to wash your hands, so you go to the bathroom, and they don’t have any hot water? You turn on the C knob, cold water comes out, you turn on the H knob, cold water comes out! It’s like, fuck, you cheap bar! But I can accept that, but I just want to know what H stands for now! C obviously stands for “cold.” H must stand for, “Ha Ha Dude! You thought this shit was hot, but it is not! Now go spread some germs!”   -Mitch Hedberg

---

The average number of warning labels per product in the U.S. has increased from 0.18 in 1956 to 17.9 in 2006.

Japanese school children do three times more homework than American school children.

---

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.  And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.  It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.  Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou.  But I think it’s Colin.  -Tommy Cooper

---