Here’s a fun new idea:

For the low price of $39.99 I could get 221 lbs worth of compliments every morning     It appears to be velvet-lined.

Okay, the idea of a loaf of meat, to me, is disgusting enough. Don’t get me wrong I love me some meat, but the thought of a ‘loaf’ of it is wholly unsettling. Well, leave it to Megan to take it a step further…

She’s a friggin’ genius! Personally, I am not going to make this for any dinner, but I sure hope somebody does. What gets me is the onion posing as a wrist bone… and well, the onion fingernails.

I have known Gary for nearly 2 decades. During that time he has been faithful and loyal to his friends and family. In the time that I have known him he has been able to hold on to the many friendships he has made and does what he can to show that these bonds are important to him.

One of my favorite-favorite tips is about bacon. After my ex-husband moved out there would have been no way in heck I could have used an entire pound of bacon with just me and the kids. So the idea is to freeze the bacon in a way that you are still able to separate single servings (whatever the amount) from the frozen block.
Originally, I would lay all the strips out on a cookie sheet lined with waxed paper. Then dump them all in a ziplock bag once …

1. The same old hassles from my ex-husband. I’m tired of these every week, but this week he has been especially childish.
2. I have no patience for traffic, but in the past week I have made two trips to Orlando (60 miles). Both trips were for pleasure and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them, it’s just the fact that I must share the road with others who obviously have not been taught driving etiquette.
3. The NBA Finals. Magic… Lakers… who gives a crap??? …

We went to Sea World’s Aquatica this past weekend for Michael’s 7th birthday.
I learned quite a while ago that some people just do not own mirrors and some may also be with out working lights in their homes. I know this because men leave the house wearing Speedos and 300lb women leave with their string bikinis clutched tightly in their sausage fingers with intentions of wearing it in public. Both of these sights are just a fact of life in Central Florida. Just part of the scenery. …

Pros:

* While I am not the greenest of people, it does give me a nice feeling to know I am not filling landfills with used pads and tampons. That whole notion makes me ill, physically.
* Due to the position of the Diva Cup when properly inserted, it is completely unnoticeable and can be worn during all sports and activities. In fact, since it can be worn all day long it is ideal for active lifestyles as there are no products to pack and your period can be forgotten for the day while wearing a cup

“YES” Days- Sometimes I am so not into arguing, hollering or pouting I make a pact with myself first thing in the morning: I will not say ‘no’ to my children once today.

‘Momma, can I have cookies for breakfast?’ ‘YES!’
‘Momma, can we get out the PlayDoh?’ ‘YES!’
‘Momma, can you remove Super Glue?’ ‘Whoa!’

This post is in an effort to remember my Two Things

Everyone does it and everyone has something that urks them if it is not done correctly, set correctly or prepared correctly. And by correctly, I mean by MY standards.
I’m not anal-retentive and I am not obsessive/compulsive. I just like some things the way I like them. Period.

This week’s Thursday Thirteen is all about:
Thirteen Pet Peeves
1. I like my cabinet doors CLOSED unless something is being removed from or replaced within them.
2. I like straws in my drinks. But if it is a bendy straw, the …

I would start scratching myself as if I had developed some infection over night.
Then I would wave my new penis around the air at my wife and ask her if she wanted to ‘have a go at it’.
I would smell the shirt I wore yesterday to see if it is still wearable… I will wear it anyway.
Then I will proceed to work.
When I get home, dinner will be ready for me and my beer will be chilling.
Then I will sit on the couch with my hand down my pants waiting for my wife to walk by so I could slap her on the ass. SOMEONE has to initiate the foreplay around here…