“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”   -Albert Einstein
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t …

Time to clean out my the page in OneNote where I keep all my random things. It’s gotten out of control and I must keep these things SOMEWHERE….
Mortality by Numbers

3 – The number of acne related deaths recorded in Mexico.
162 – The number of deaths by a fall involving a chair recorded in the United States.
8 – The number of flatulence related deaths recorded in Egypt.
2004 – The year these stats were compiled.

I find this quote to be quite true:
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as …

I have known Gary for nearly 2 decades. During that time he has been faithful and loyal to his friends and family. In the time that I have known him he has been able to hold on to the many friendships he has made and does what he can to show that these bonds are important to him.

1. The same old hassles from my ex-husband. I’m tired of these every week, but this week he has been especially childish.
2. I have no patience for traffic, but in the past week I have made two trips to Orlando (60 miles). Both trips were for pleasure and I thoroughly enjoyed both of them, it’s just the fact that I must share the road with others who obviously have not been taught driving etiquette.
3. The NBA Finals. Magic… Lakers… who gives a crap??? …

Everyone does it and everyone has something that urks them if it is not done correctly, set correctly or prepared correctly. And by correctly, I mean by MY standards.
I’m not anal-retentive and I am not obsessive/compulsive. I just like some things the way I like them. Period.

This week’s Thursday Thirteen is all about:
Thirteen Pet Peeves
1. I like my cabinet doors CLOSED unless something is being removed from or replaced within them.
2. I like straws in my drinks. But if it is a bendy straw, the …

Chris- What is that?
Me- It’s doggie-ice cream.
Chris- Doggie ice cream… It looks like vanilla.
Me- Kinda. Doesn’t seem to come in other flavors.
Chris- What flavor ice cream would a dog like? Rabbit? Steak?
Me- He seems to like the taste of his own butt.
Chris- (chuckles) It’s Ass-Cream…

I would start scratching myself as if I had developed some infection over night.
Then I would wave my new penis around the air at my wife and ask her if she wanted to ‘have a go at it’.
I would smell the shirt I wore yesterday to see if it is still wearable… I will wear it anyway.
Then I will proceed to work.
When I get home, dinner will be ready for me and my beer will be chilling.
Then I will sit on the couch with my hand down my pants waiting for my wife to walk by so I could slap her on the ass. SOMEONE has to initiate the foreplay around here…